OUR STORIES

BOB'S STORY

As a private school teacher and administrator for 30 years provided me an insight into the life of kids 14-18. These very formative years are not as easy as is sometimes depicted in our culture. I am delighted to participate in this film project for a host of reasons not the least of which is my friendship with Alex. In addition, REAL situations relative to sex and education and experience and trauma have been a part of my experience as a counselor at the secondary level.

I have experienced students confused by "playing around" on team trips. I have been involved with a gay student who wanted to be loved so much by a straight athlete that he "faked" having been raped and ultimately stabbed (self initiated) on the steps of the front door of the athlete's home who was present to care for him. Others spoke of the sexual relationships they experienced with one of more siblings and the guilt and confusion they confronted. Others experienced shame and fear of being "outed." Many of the students (dare I say all of them?) had issues with their parents and great fear about telling them about various unsolicited incidents or the fact that they were gay and wanted acceptance. Some of these situations were brought to my attention by graduates who confronted another world on a college campus where freedom of movement, a non-home environment and a great deal of experimentation was taking place.

One of the keys to self-actualization and peace of mind is education at all levels. The film being created would be helpful to initiate discussions among and between various constituencies.

ALEX'S STORY

My family experience was a driver in choosing the topic for this film.

In recent years my mom, dad and brother have more firmly aligned themselves with non-inclusive values. I can recall my mother saying “we must get that wall built to keep out the murderers and thieves” and my father saying “I’m tired of all the free handouts to minorities."

There was some truth in what they were saying.

Unfortunately, their unsympathetic language was judgmental and blameful towards minorities. And their unwillingness to condemn our country's leadership who in recent years has scapegoated minority groups has led to additional hate crimes.

My brother revealed he is against hate crimes legislation and doesn’t support gay marriage. I approached him 3 years ago and asked him why he no longer supported such basic civil liberties. We had a deep dialogue about the importance of hate crimes and how over time those laws become part of the community's culture to help make safe those who have targets on their backs. I also sent him literature to reinforce our talks.

None of this impacted him. He avoided, blamed and diverted, and continued to reject the entire notion of these laws.

In recent therapy with Adam I apologized for not being there for him when he went through tough problems of his own during his 20s. Although he received financial support from our dad, he needed emotional support from our family. We failed him. I also apologized for having yelled at him during a contentious argument a few months prior. He willingly accepted my apologies.

I fully admit I have made my fair share of mistakes. Hopefully Adam will at some point be forthright about his missteps.

I hardly speak to my brother. We have both attempted to mend our relationship through conversations, texts, emails and letters, and therapy. Nothing has worked.

I love a good debate over opinion. But a denial of basic facts and an overarching attitude of belligerence are deal-breakers for me.

I want my family back. I miss them. I've decided to co-create this documentary to inspire all people to be their best, and to help other fractured families reunite.

MERCEDES' STORY

As a female I have faced discrimination head on in the work place several times before becoming a stay-at-home mom.

One situation in particular stands out to me. While working in a male dominated workplace I was passed over time and time again for a promotion. During the course of developing a new department with a company I had managed and developed a program that generated revenue through sponsor relationships. During my time with this company I was assigned to work under the direction of five different department directors. During the three years of working within this company I was the only constant person to hold down the sponsor relationships.

I had developed plans with the sponsors to incorporate and solicit their brands onto the 60,000+ membership base. When the membership base would take advantage of the promotions I had set in place by using a relationship identifying code the company would receive a percentage of the sale. Within two years I had the highest return the company had seen in sponsor dollar returns. Each time the director of the department was fired by the management they would continue to look for a replacement. In the meantime I was continuously pushing and developing the program and was the only constant employee to stick around.

I was passed over more than five times within the three year time period as a consideration for the director position. Each time they hired a new director the candidate was paid twice my salary. In 2008 during the third year of the program the recession had hit and returns had dropped. In early 2009 I became pregnant with my first and at seven months pregnant was laid off and the department had supposedly closed. They said because the returns had dropped as being the impetus for the closure. Within a year the company had started up the department again. I believe that had I been a male that I would have been promoted to director at some point. Also that by becoming pregnant I was seen as not being fit for the position any longer. The department closure was the excuse to legally not be sued by a seven month pregnant lady with a proven track record of success.

PHILECIA'S STORY

In 2021, I worked as a Rehab Director for a national company. During the zoom interview for MSM opportunity with the regional director of operation (RDO) and area multi-site manager (MSM). I asked a closing question, “is there anything about my background or resume that makes you question whether I am a good fit for this role?”

The RDO responded by saying,”there was nothing in my background but she was looking for someone that isn’t too confident, would be open to feedback, and a life-long learner.”

At that moment, I was taken by surprise and confused. For her to say that I was “too confident” and suggest that I wouldn’t be “open to feedback “ I feel that this was a microaggression. The statement was completely unfounded. In this brief encounter without any reference point to make an assessment of my character.

In my year of employment, there is no verbal or written performance evaluation that supports such a claim. As a black woman and immigrant of Jamaica, these words are triggering character assination by personal and stereotypical biases that far too often impact people of color's career path. I have worked very hard to attain my Doctorate in Physical Therapy in 2010 and earn an MBA in 2017 while being a single mom. I take great pride in learning as much as I can to be a fair and strong leader.

Furthermore, I set-up a follow-up mentorship meeting only to be further humiliated by the RDO calling me a “Synthetic Leader” as in fake, and artificial leader. This is not even a recognized leadership style but in fact found on Google search. Where she quoted verbatim the article. While simultaneously contradicting herself by pressuring me to leave my current facility to take a lateral move. RDO stated this will challenge me. My direct report MSM even stated in a prior conversation if I do this it will prove to RDO I was ready to move up.

Why is it that? I have the most education, over 10 years work experience needed to be challenged more to be ready to advance my career over the selected candidate, who only has an associate degree and 3 years work experience. I’ll tell you why, because I’m black! She’s white and has white privilege.

I originally came to this company because it was therapist driven and the majority of leaders in the hierarchy were women. I felt it was a place of great career growth opportunities. This experience has made me feel disheartened and discouraged that I belong here. I feel I couldn’t be my authentic self due to fear of isolation for being “too confident” and would potentially have to second guess my decision-making tactics and strategies in order to feel like I’m a part of RDO team dynamics. Especially since there is no other person of color on the MSM team in my area.

Based primarily on data from Lean In and McKinsey & Company's annual Women in the Workplace study, “The State of Black Women in Corporate America 2020” found that African-American women, who seek promotions at the same rate as white men, are only 58% as likely to be promoted to a managerial position and only 64% as likely to be hired to those positions. Black women are at a disadvantage from the beginning of their careers, with the representation gap continuing to widen and only 1.6% of vice presidents and 1.4% of C-suite executives. Compared to white men holding 57% and 68% of those positions. Black women are far more likely to face day-to-day discrimination at work than men, white women, Latinas, or Asian-American women:

Rarely say their manager advocates for new opportunities for them (29%)
Gives them opportunities to manage people and projects (36%)
Helps them manage their career path (22%)
Never interacted with a senior leader about their work (41%) or informally (59%)
Others questioning their judgment in their area of expertise (41%)
Expressing surprise at their skills or abilities (26%)

I am expected to go above and beyond while my colleagues at the same level with less education and/or experience can do the bare minimum entry level job duties but still advance ahead of me. The numbers don’t lie. The game is rigged.

Citation:

"The state of Black Women in Corporate America 2020." Lean In Foundation report 08/31/2020. Viewed 24 June 2022. https://philanthropynewsdigest.org/news/study-highlights-barriers-black-women-face-in-corporate-america

Note: The function of this website is to serve as a brainstorming and communication hub for our team.